CANeko

Holy hell- Snow! Actual snow! Snowing!

...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Times are tough but atleast I can say I'm glad that Hurricane Ike has passed. There's been damage and I'm very thankful for power. After a week and a couple of days, I think anyone would be thankful. Rough times in my personal life though and its got my head in a spin. No sense in crying over things that just aren't in my hands but there goes the tears. Time to beat myself up about it.

Come home Jiji. We miss you greatly..

Now, I really hate to do this but I want to get something off my chest and Live Journal was the last place that came up in my head to let it all loose. I'm just glad this is more offa personal thing than- well, no. I can't say that. Regardless, I'm pissed. Haha. You normally rant or something when you are.

DeviantArt has clubs where you can shove an original character, do not steal, and yadda yadda like Org-Infinity for example, the Kingdom Hearts Nobody Organization club dealio and stuff. Now, I'm in a couple of clubs although some aren't active or not on their feet yet but I already feel fed up. I don't give a rats ass for roleplaying compared to actually drawing and because I don't feel comfortable roleplaying half the time, I'm never included in crap.

This isn't about fitting in with the crowd- no, no. This is about drawing with a crowd. I want to draw with people and wow, you guys [ who ever sadly came upon this, I'm sorry ] just don't know how much it IRKS me that I've drawn so much for people and no: I should not ever expect anyone to return a gift that I gave. There are no strings attached but.. Something would be nice. Anything would be nice.

I want to draw with people. Collabs, trades, the works. Oh man, I'd be in bliss if I could find a buddy in art who would draw with me or talk stories with me. I believe that's why I fell so hard for a friend I have in my Grandma's town of Monterrey, Mexico. He was my drawing buddy and even though we had problems understanding each other, it was just a blast to draw with one another.

I don't expect anyone like that online but it would sure be nice. I've made so many friends threw Org-Infinity and some I have drawn with and some who have drawn me something- to which most I have returned the favor. But.. Bah. I don't know where I'm going with this but it is a rant. It's not always supposed to make sense, I hope.

Other stuff going on in life. Some good, some bad. Same ol', same ol'. Can't complain. Haha.

Yo, yo, yo!

.. Kidding. xD

Man! Anime Matsuri: my first convention being part of the artist alley and wearing a GothLoli dress the whole day- Plus boots! It was crazy. I met some awesome people and got myself out there just a little bit. I can't wait for Oni-Con this November. <3 I'm planning on being more prepared and draw some decent prints this time. Maybe add some more to my portfolio.

Nothing to report on my doll though I'd like to get her a better set of clothing before Oni. Also, I'd like to pick up a new dress for myself. Maybe this time around Ren'll be dressed up with me. Oh~ The outfit he wants looks so very handsome. <3<3 Mang! So nice. Can't wait.

Hm, hm. I've been thinking about life changing junk too, you know? Like college junk and further relationship stuff with my love love. I don't know but all I have on my mind at the moment is drawing and conventions. Heh.

Hm, hm.. Don't know what else much to say. I need my own Halo copy though.. =_=

Edit: I GOT A JIJI PLUSHIE! <3<3<3

Woot, woot. Though I did wake up in the afternoon and I didn't get picked up till around 7-ish, I had an awesome day.

I got "tricked" into going to Papasitos to celebrate my birthday. I'm 2 fricken 0 and I don't feel much a day older. Haha. It was awesome.

I might report things later for memory wise but right now I'm going to get some shut eye so I can wake up and get me a Java Chiller from Sonic. :>

Ello, ello again o' journal of mine.

Just wanted to make a single post saying how wacky things are though everything is trying to get back on track. I still don't see it though even though I wish for it. Gotta keep positive or I'm screwed.

I finally approached my best friend about everything and got things straight, feelings told and whatnot. I feel for the guy. I really did just kinda disappear with no explanation. My mental kick to the head was strong after that. But before I approached him, I went to my ex for help. When him and his new chick got into a mix bout me getting into the picture.. well, let's just say I think I got a friend back. I don't know. I have an idea of what I'm feeling but it's all.. crazy. Mixed up.

tl;dr I'm talking to my ex and the friend he left me for again.

I shake when I see them and get nerve wrecked in the worst way but keep a smile on me face. I gotta grow up some day and a part of me feels this is the way to settle it: head on. Either way, I went to him for my problems and since they're semi-settled, I don't know how things are going to be. Though our talks are pretty rare to begin with. I'd honestly like for everyone to be pals and buddies again. Hang around that huge group 'cept now with my ex's new chick in the picture. I don't know. It's still all weird.

Anime Matsuri is coming up and I still haven't got any art for it done. Been too stressed and worried bout crap but hopefully I'll be able to produce something or still give excuses. My boyfriend and I are still wondering if we'll be able to get the hotel room for the convention but he already seems like he decided on just driving back and forth. I really don't want to but I understand the room is pricey.

Hm. I don't know what else much to put so I'll end it.

Ja.

Life is messy. I haven't talked to my best friend in a while. I started talking to my ex. And I want to be with my lovey Ren so badly right now.

Good news is, Anime Matsuri. Woot. I got the table. <3 Also, Ouran High School Host Club is especially awesome.

Also.

Hey Miranda. You reading this?

>:3

Edit:

Okay, time for the real entry, heh.

5:51 in the morning and I'm getting that headache back that's either telling me to go to sleep or nab a bite to eat which is impossible. Brother keeps gulping down anything in the refrigerator so that's nearly impossible. Sora just signed off and I'm a little bummed but we were just chit chatting anyway. Him giving me some tips that friendships normally take a turn some where down the road and I agree with him, ooooohh do I agree with him.

I got my hair still in the chongo's Ren's sister Yunie put them in. Haha, I like it. He said I looked cute. Haha, I like that so much. Unfortunately I'll need to take em out before I head for bed or I'll get one hell of a migraine, hur.

Anywhoo, Got everything settled for Anime Matsuri. The only thing I need to tackle now is some sort of chaperon for the Saturday night stay so my dad doesn't bite my head off. Gonna be 20 and I still have so many restrictions. Heh, it's okay. I understand why.

I'm just chit chattin' on AIM, trying to figure out where a message of mine on MySpace went to. Fucking MySpace.

I wish things were normal but normal doesn't exists anymore from what I'm told.

.. This really blows. I'm going to bed.

Hey there journal of mine. Boredom has struck so I have decided to make myself an entry.

Haha, boredom is so strong that I even put something on my MySpace page which originally only had "aw shiznit". Oh well. I do, however, think that posting a small story out of my boredom in gonna nip me in the butt later.

I got to thinking which swirled with boredom since my RP partner signed off early tonight again. I'm not too sure if it was a power outage at his house again, the internet being a twat or I made a really horrible post. x3 Haha, Sora is sweet though. Really sweet.

Oh, that story. Here goes:

Do you see the doll in her doll house? She's sitting in the same spot with the same expression on her face. She's properly sitting in her small chair and doesn't move because she can't- she's simply a doll.

Do you see the raven in the window? He comes to visit her every evening when the sun goes down. He spreads his wings to see her because he learned to love that same expression she wore. The raven so desperatly wanted his doll to move or stand but she couldn't- she's simple a doll.

Do you see the toy soldier on the counter? He proudly stands in attention near the doll house with his toy gun strapped to his back as if protecting the doll. Made with the finest of paints and detailed with a keen eye, he shines when the sun hits him. He was worth value and would be so long as he could shine but the doll couldn't- she's simply a doll.

Do you see the gray cat on the chair? He would watch the toys with a smile, his tail swaying off the cushion. The cat would so often approach the doll house and nuzzle the doll because he had grown fond of her. He wouldn't make a fuss when the raven came at night. He just simply return to his chair to sleep but the doll couldn't- she's simply a doll.

Do you see the boy who played with toys, Doll? The one who did so long ago when every day revolved around those events and him. He would spend hours in the room simply enjoying himself and wearing a false smile. Yet one day he didn't return and time for a while after seemed grey. Eventually things would never returned to the way they were but it sparked something different. Right?

Yet she would not reply- she's simply a doll.

Yup. It's rather repetitive but.. shit, I don't have an excuse. I picture this like a kid book story. The reason? My ex sent me his 'final message' on MySpace- and people wonder why that place gives me bad vibes. Random shit happens on there. I really didn't expect anything from him but then again I didn't realize it's been exactly one year since he's dumped me. I don't know how to feel about it honestly. Sure, I've talked it out but I really think I've numbed that part of my brain. I didn't wanna think about bad stuff no more even though it's unavoidable, you know?

But to get the topic off that..

I feel like playing Halo 3 but my brother moved back into the house. I don't feel like playing and him ask to play. Trust me, I have reasons to be protective of my consoles since, you know, he pawned my first PS2. But yeah. I'm hungry. DOMO is boring alone. Sora is gone for the night. Ren and Red are asleep and today is Rens mom's birthday. Here's to wishing I can wake up in a couple of hours.

.. Then again it'd be easier if I just didn't go to sleep.

;w; It'd be easier to achieve with Sora around.. sigh.

And damnit 'Zero'.. you didn't let me tell you the songs in return. Private profile, pft.

1. Through the Glass - Stone Sour
2. The Pretender - Foo Fighters
3. So Far Away - Crossfade

Ho hum~

Leave it to me to forget about my online journal thingie to myself. There's nothing to do at the moment and it's lights off in my room so the possibility of drawing was ruled out unless I want to use my DS Lite as a light source. Either way, I'm bored out of my mind. I'm peeking into the entervoid.com forums every now and then to see what's going on in the lovely world of VOID. Good buddy of mine finally got himself into there and I couldn't be any happier for the guy. He's improved buttloads in his art and his expressions are fucking hilarious. I, however, am too much of a chicken shit to put my crap on there. [Though I did put some doodles on there at one time.] They're harsh with reason to be- to get people to take their crits, improve, and whatnot and they've succeeded in scaring me. That actually happened a long, long time ago though. Scaring me, I mean.

I forgot the point of my entry so I'll cut this short.

Wee~

Uggghhh! I can't wait for the convention any longer! Gaah. We've been waiting so long for Oni-Con to come around the corner and it's almost here! I gotta admit, even though things haven't been great these past few weeks, I'm still so damn excited. Oh, by the way, I found out I have high cholesterol. D: Yay.

The badges are done! They came out pretty nicely even though they're lacking color. [R. I. P tablet. :,< ] I made sure to add loads of black so that they looked less bland. I need to make one for another buddy of mine but god dammit guys are some how harder to draw than girls. Boo hoo. I need to get to work on him soon.

So excited! Having my first wonderful BJD plus my first gothic&loli dress- Eeee! xD So fricken excited.

Wee, wee~

So here I am typing. I tried laying down but my eyes wouldn't keep closed for more than a couple of minutes. For the record, I turned out to be just fine- so to speak. I'm getting more synesis symptons. Which means the thing that keeping me clogged with congestion and yadda yadda needs to be yanked out. It's now just up to my parents to decided when, where or how. No rush really.. -_-;

I don't know what's causing me to stay up. I did draw for a while. I relized that the convention is only next weak and I don't have any badges done. Even if I had them all inked and ready, I can't color them. u_u; Rest in peace tablet.

There isn't much to type about tonight though so I'll wrap this up.

Ja~

Lack of entries, yeah yeah. There are a bunch of things I could talk about like the Avatar: The Last Airbender premiere that we [ Ren, bestest friend, and myself] waited for so long for- That rocked. Or, how I had an anxiety attack at my boyfriends nephew's birthday party and got into the oddest situation by putting myself there.. but, I think I'm really just putting this entry as a reminder of the past four days not including today because I haven't really gotten up and walked around- yet. I've been dizzy and tender headed and it's finally starting to scare me.

The first thing that pops up in everyones head is that I possibly may be pregnant but, heh, >> good ol' time of the month [ FEH ] started so.. I'm hoping that rules it out. Anthony and Red ruled it as a migraine at first and gave me some medicine for it. It went away for the remainder of my time at his house.

Ren showed his worry on the phone last night and started asking his mom what could it be. I hopped on WebMD and searched around under the keywords "dizziness" and "tender head". The majority of my symptoms kinda led to the possibility of me not having enough Iron. u_u I'm not going to say Anthony got mad but he surely didn't want me diagnosing myself till I saw someone. So I finally gave up and today, when my cell phones wake up call actually worked, I got up and gave my mom a call.

We're going to the doctor soon.

x_x

-Death by odd day.-

Hey there!~

Yeah, like the title says. Though I should change it to finally scanning.  But, first things first. I woke up around four-ish again. One day I wake up early and the other I sleep in so damn late. It's beginning to be routine a bit. Nahh. The rest of the day went pretty normal so there's nothing to say-type. Buuuutttt:

My best friend did a very lovely thing today and I have no idea how to repay him. I think I may get to work on a drawing but I'm not all to sure what I could draw. By the way.. he bought me the lolita tiny top hat and the Evil Catty Bag. ;w; Gah, I loves him. I did manage to draw something for my boyfriend but only because mushy stuff comes easy. I am a bit afraid my drawings for him are getting repedetive. I hope he likes his Renji x Rukia picture. <3 I want to post it but I may try after, that way I'll have my first post on the RenRuki community and something to show.

I also finally finished inking my original Kingdom Hearts Character picture. It's a pretty old picture.. a rreeaally old picture.

Ey there,

Not much to report today. My biggest excuse is that I only slept little than 4 hours. I woke up at 9:30 and headed with my mom to work. I did draw last night after my entry and also at the office but my lazy ness to scan compels me.

More noted tomorrow night and possible drawing updates.

Ja~

Allo, Ello!

Ugh, Ever had a day where you woke up, looked at the time, and just went "Awww FUCK". Yeah, that happened to me today. u_u My mom came home from the office around the time I was supposed to go with her saying that she just didn't feel well enough to work. So of course I hopped back into bed.. and woke up by my best friend phone call at 4:30 in the afternoon. >_<

Either way, I dragged myself outta bed and did the normal- got on me trusty laptop and went back for my search on dollfie clothing.

Today was the first day I headed to the track like planned. I walked around while my best friend and his younger brother Allen did a couple of jogging laps. Yeah, I strolled while they did the work. Heh. I got a call soon after from me dearest saying he was stuck. He ran outta gas near a good ol' mini-resturant that he wasn't fond of at all. I love that little place though. Nice burgers. Nom. I alerted my best friend and we saved his day! Dun dun dun! -hero pose- We just went back tot he track for a couple more laps after puttin' some gas in Rens tank.

To wrap the day up- My best friend saved our hungry needs <3 and we played some Halo 2 till I had to come home. I got to try out Joust on the Arcade though. lololol. What a fun game xD

Before I had headed to the track with my bestest friend, Anthony, I had found one of my old story ideas. It was a convo between me and a buddy named Mett who now goes by RoflQu. I was pretty happy to find it laying around my laptop. <3 Reading it was fun and it got me drawing. Nothing to scan though, sorry D:

Dollie News!

I checked up on my buds Sarah's topic in Den of Angels on the Houston Meet she had thought up when I was over at her house. Turns out there's gonna be a meet on the 29th later on this month. I find it pretty awesome that the guys are gonna take me back up there again for the meet and just hang around to play pokemon and let us play with out dollies. xD

I was looking again for clothing. Loads of people sell lovely clothing but I don't even spend 30 something on just one piece of clothing D: I understand that people made these small clothing and they deserve the moonies but mang. I knew this hobby was going to be an expensive one but woooo.

I searched threw the market place [ plus I got a tip from a person I'm watching on DeviantArt. Thanks Tizas! ]

Shayi is the person who makes clothing for Unoa and I personally I would love these pants for my girl but then again I'm debating on flares of slim boot cut. Which'll cost me 24 bucks. That's including shipping.

There's also from some junk on the clothing site called Nightfall that has some cheap shirts and hoodies. But even though the prices look tempting, I still have no idea how much the shipping cost. God knows the clothing will cost 10 bucks and the shipping- 20 something -__-

I'm going to ask around for some clothing advice just the majority of dollie people seem to hate people who're cheap. Oh well :D;

No lolita news today~

Ja for now.

Heyo, Hiyo. Man it's been a long day. I don't wake up in the morning all too often but I couldn't go back to sleep after my brother asked me to open the door.. at 9:30ish. I got to see little Alize again but this time the first time outside the hospital. Nora told me that she sounded like a little goat/sheep when she grunted and she was right. o_o It was a cute scene.

I went to work with my mom for a bit before she needed to take my dad for his appointment at the doctor. Honestly we didn't do much work but I do enjoy spending time with my momma.. When she's in an okay mood. xD; Since I'm trying to lose the excess off my gut, I found it ironic that my momma and myself nom'd on a small baked potato, a small salad and again- a small portion of mash potatoes. Haha- baked potatoes with mash potatoes. Nomnom.

I came home and hopped on the internet. I thought I was going to pass out but talking to my dollie bud kept me up. A couple hours later my lovey finally woke up and took me over back to his house where I petted the lovable Jiji and we fell asleep soon after. Har har. Bestest friend picked us up and to my surprised- he was stocked on Game Fuel. I swear, that was one awesome sight. We got us Halo 3 Game Fuel to last the midnight release and after. Haha. It's not gonna last. Especially how Red and Ren chug.

Of course after that it fell into the more fun routine. Yeah, even though it's routine, Halo 2 can still be fun. Before that happened we all grubbed on some Subway. I'm still full from then. Nine o' clock came around and I had to come home. :<

So now I'm here, looking for clothing for my AoD girl. I was just told I got a 50 dollar limit on what I can get. Yeah, even though I have a savings account and I work... for a measly 2 dollars an hour.. xD; My mom deals with my pay. So I don't really know when I do get the money and whatnot. I noticed a lot of the older BJD peeps bitch at how younger BJDers don't work and depend on their parents to get their dolls. Do I count? I mean, I work with my mom who's a DRE [Director of Religious Education] and my allowance is what I used to buy my girl... Do I still count? Oh wweeelllz

Dollie News!

I have my eye on a couple of things but of course I'm trying to penny pinch every penny from my limit. Get clothing and possibly shoes- so on. Like these shoes:


They're 10 bucks not including shipping from Ajumapama.

There's some lovely Unoa sized Hoodies being sold in the DoA's marketplace.


They're 18 dollars plus shipping. -sob-

Har, I figured how to make the pictures smaller. Yeah, LJ noob here.

I also have my eye on the majority on the stuff in CheeryDoll though the outfits are all around 70 bucks. D: -sobsob- But atleast they're not those 72 dollar pants. Gaaahh!

There's no lolita news today, sadly, But Maybe tomorrow. Now I'll shut my trap.

Man. I have never kept up with a journal or diary in my life. Haha, I have a actual journal that has only a couple of pages with junk, some drawings. Entries have large monthly gaps in em. But hey, I get online every day. Maybe I can semi-keep up with an online journal. Hopefully >_>

Nothing much to dwell on today though. I woke up late in the afternoon even though I had hoped to wake up and head over my my moms office for "work". u_u; Waking up at three o' clock really killed that idea. Darling Ren had came over a while after I awoke and I made us a bite to eat with the left over rice and fajitas my dad had made while watching Diamond and Pearl Pokemon on Cartoon Network. Him addin' BBQ sauce made them goood. <3

Mang, journals are for writing silly crap.  :D I should type out 'don't read me' huh?

Anyhoo, after we ate we had to get the hell outta here. Even though we only went walking for a little less than an hour, I felt beat. u_u The harsh reminders of my weight gain make me cry on the inside. I really need to lose the extra luggage. I keep tellin' myself that I want to go walk/jog in the track but.. I don't have a sports bra. <_<

Either way, we got into a small argument about going to my moms office for a small drink but either way, my mom wasn't there. xD Har. Waiting for bestest friend was the hardest part of the day aside from the little 'grr' fest. He's our only escape though tellin' him that is pretty hard without making it sound bad.

The funnest part of the whole day was when we all settled down, included bestest friend, and watched WWE. After seeing poor Ray Mysterio get his head squished by the Great Khali, it was awesome seeing some comedy with Vince. Har, har. His seed produced a midget. Awesome. xD

Off note from life and it's wonders:

Fanboys made me laugh so badly. It's good to see webcomics that have their originality. VGCats slowly became not.. as funny and I'm waiting for Girly to update after Chuy and Autumn didn't slow down. Awesome.



Dollie News!

I found out yesterday by my oh-so-coolio dollie bud that my dearest girl was a more slim MSD. Really helped me out. If I had bought any clothing for her, they would have all been bulky but, in all honesty the outfit+wig my dollie bud had let me borrow for a moment.. I want. ;w;



It was the look I really wanted for my dollie. You know? Sort of book worm-ish. It was cute. ;w; More pictures!



Tis her dolls in the back ground. Taken with my cruddy cell phone camera. Wee. Okay, final dollie pic-



She's so cute. <3 I want to get a Bobobie Apollo to make cute, dollie, couple love. But I know people would rant 'Pedo'.

Lolita News!

Ebay's the devil. A sweet, sweet devil. Bestest friend placed in my order <3<3 So we're both waiting for me dress so that I can parade around at the convention:



Plus I'm hoping to get onna these:



Sorry the pics are big. Don't cry. o_o

Time will tell though. Mang, I hate that saying. xDD; Welp, I better put a lid on it. That's all for now.

I would love to use this to put sketches up and junk but I keep forgeting. I'll remember next time, ..hopefully.

Hello there :3 I'm sorry to say that I don't use this oh so often as I should. Sometimes there is just nothing to type about. Which is odd because there's alot of junk going on for me. Maybe i'm just too lazy in that department. I hope to make new friends. Oh! And i'm very obsessed with Shaman King. Yosh. :3